Deer Hunt 1:00 AM- ALARM CLOCK RINGS 2:00 AM- HUNTING PARTNER ARRIVES, DRAGS YOU OUT OF BED 2:15 AM- THROW everything EXCEPT THE KITCHEN SINK INTO THE PICKUP 3:00 AM- LEAVE FOR THE DEEP WOODS 3:10 AM- DRIVE BACK HOME AND PICK HOME AND PICK UP GUN 3;30 AM- DRIVE REAL FAST TO GET BACK TO WOODS BEFORE DAYLIGHT 4:00 AM- SET UP CAMP - REALIZED HE FORGOT THE TENT 4:30 AM- HEAD INTO WOODS 6:05 AM- SEE 8 DEER 6:06 AM- TAKE AIM AND SQUEEZE TRIGGER 6:07 AM- "CLICK" 6:08 AM- LOAD GUN WHILE WATCHING DEER GO OVER HILL 8:00 AM- HEAD BACK TO CAMP 9:00 AM- STILL LOOKING FOR CAMP 10:00 AM- REALIZED YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE CAMP IS NOON--- FIRE GUN FOR HELP - EAT WILD BERRIES 12:15 PM- RAN OUT OF BULLETS = 8 DEER RETURN 12:20 PM- STRANGE FEELING IN STOMACH 12:30 PM- REALIZE YOU ATE POISON BERRIES 12:45 PM- "RESCUED" 12:55 PM- RUSHED TO HOSPITAL TO HAVE STOMACH PUMPED 3:00 PM- ARRIVE BACK IN CAMP 3:30 PM- LEAVE CAMP TO KILL DEER 4:00 PM- RETURN TO CAMP FOR BULLETS 4:01 PM- LOAD GUN LEAVE CAMP AGAIN 5:00 PM- EMPTY GUN ON SQUIRREL THAT IS BUGGING YOU 6:00 PM- ARRIVE AT CAMP, SEE DEER GRAZING IN CAMP 6:01 PM- LOAD GUN 6:02 PM- FIRE GUN 6:03 PM- ONE DEAD TRUCK 6:05 PM- HUNTING PARTNER RETURNS TO CAMP DRAGGING DEER 6:06 PM- REPRESSES STRONG DESIRE TO SHOOT PARTNER 6:07 PM- FALL INTO FIRE 6:10 PM- CHANGE CLOTHES, THROW BURNED ONES INTO FIRE 6:15 PM- TAKE PICKUP, LEAVE PARTNER AND HIS DEER IN THE WOODS 6:25 PM- PICKUP BOILS OVER, HOLE SHOT IN MOTOR 6:26 PM- START WALKING 6:39 PM- STUMBLES AND FALLS, DROP GUN IN MUD 6:35 PM- MEET BEAR 6:36 PM- TAKE AIM 6:37 PM-FIRE GUN, BARREL BLOWS UP, PLUGGED WITH MUD 6:38 PM-"MESS IN PANTS" 6:39 PM- CLIMB TREE 9:00 PM- BEAR DEPARTS, WRAP GUN AROUND TREE "MIDNIGHT" HOME AT LAST SUNDAY- WATCH FOOTBALL GAME ON TV, SLOWLY TEARING HUNTING LICENSE INTO LITTLE PIECES, PLACE IN ENVELOPE AND MAIL TO GAME WARDEN WITH VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ON WHERE TO PLACE IT.